I've been neglecting this blog now for a few days, firstly because I had a long and exhausting weekend (people don't even consider going to a nightclub here until AT LEAST 6am!), secondly because I don't have internet at home, and thirdly, because I'm pretty loathed to start writing in the evenings seeing as I spend all day writing about celeb gossip, footie rumours, and other tabloid odds and ends. You see I have embarked on a new profession - that most-hated of all professions - as a tabloid journalist. There are some benefits though, not least when your inbox gets bombarded with pearls like this. Paul Parker's face is a thing of wonder.